Thursday, June 25, 2009

39 1/2 weeks and counting...


I can not believe how fast the past 37 weeks have gone. It really is crazy to think that I spent almost all of my time in Pine Ridge pregnant. Oh how life goes by so fast. well not the last two weeks. I feel like I am READY to have this baby. Not just because its hot out or i can't sleep and have to pee every few minutes, because I can not wait to see what our son is going to look like. I know I am in for a HUGE surprise once the little man arrives. Perhaps a constant state of being tired?? Oh dear, that does not sound fun, but I have a feeling it will all be worth the sleepless nights in the end.

I had a check up again today.. i am on the every week plan. Its always the same thing... wait in the lobby, wait in the lab, wait in the room even longer, then continue waiting for the baby to arrive.

everything went well. Its a pretty painful exam, but i have a feeling its nothing compared to birthing a child. Bring on the meds is all I can say!

39 1/2 weeks is where I am at today... the doctor lady says I could go at any moment. I am a ticking time bomb. Look out! I have a strange feeling it is going to begin in the middle of the night, when it will be most difficult to wake Jake and have him coherent enough to drive me to the hospital... perhaps he will be fine. I awoke today with the worst Charlie Horse in my leg, rolling in pain, jake looked at me and said... "i shouldn't touch you huh?" followed by "are you sure its not contractions?"
I responded while in increased agony "I am pretty sure contractions are not in your calf muscle and if they are no one told me."

I got out of bed took a hot shower and when i returned Jake kindly said "all i could do was think about laughing at you with that charlie horse"

It shall be interesting when i have real contractions... BRING THEM ON BABY!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

The beauty all around

Good morning.

Today I woke up, praise God. I don't believe I do that enough. I am blessed to wake up another day, to see the sun and I am even blessed to hear the dog barking outside nonstop.
There is beauty in everything.
I find myself easily distracted from the beauty by my emotions. Sure I am pregnant, but that is not an excuse to be crabby or out of tune with the beauty God has created around me.
It is a choice. I every morning wake up with a choice, should i waste these eyes and see only the twisted world my sinful self wants me to see or can i go beyond and see the beauty and feel it in my soul.
Daily i feel torn down. Frustrated by making the same mistakes over and over.
Yet there is beauty in forgiveness.

Oh Lord my God, what a price that was payed.

Today i will choose to be filled with peace. Today i will struggle to be the person i was created to be. Today i will strive to LOVE.

Today I will see the beauty all around.





Friday, June 5, 2009

an old entry...


Wednesday, September 26, 2007 at 11:18am


This will be an on going process...
My Christianity is a struggle
It is a battle.
My Christianity asks me to Love without thinking
To cherish each human as Gods creation.
My Christianity asks me NOT to forget those who SEEM unlike me.
But to forget myself for others.
My Christianity has changed my world
My world is humanity.
My Christianity is about my Christ.

My Christ is my savior
He has forgiven not just me, but everyone.
My Christ LOVES
The Lost
The Broken
The abused
The Hurting
The Lonely
The Addicts
The Hungry
The Naked
And how amazed I am that he LOVES me.
I am nothing with out Him, an empty soul searching for the cross.

My life will be different.
For I no longer live, but Christ that lives in me.
I am a creation of God, designed in His image. I am not forgotten. I will live without FEAR.
I will not be safe any longer. I will not run from the cities crying out from injustice, but I will become a follower that Christ calls us to become.
I will Feed the hungry.
I will clothe the naked.
I will get the thirsty something to drink.
I will open my home to the homeless.
I will SEE MY SAVIOR IN EVERYONE!