When the rain pours...

Day 5

With six minutes to spare I made it to day five. Pretty impressive if I say so myself. Today was like any other Saturday. I was woken up by a beautiful baby, then enjoyed a wonderful cup of french pressed coffee. Later in the day Jake and I joined Jeff and Carol for a fantastic dinner and great fellowship. Now is my time to sit and reflect on the day and how I saw God at work.

God is all around. Even in the cold, the snow and the freezing rain. There are many times that I seem to forget this, but thankfully God has not forgotten me. I feel frustrated and discontent much of the time and I am in the process of figuring out why my soul is in so much angst. This is not an easy self reflection to undergo, but even when the rain pours God is with me.

There is GRACE for that.

So they say I need structure...

 DAY 4

Well I have heard that some might like it if I were to write with a little more structure (Kevin Kinley) and its OK to feel that way, but it is 30 days of me and well I am not known to be very structured. Sure I could pick one subject to write about, but then again what if something comes up and it interests me more to write about that? So needless to say... structure is thrown out the window. I love you Kevin, but this is me. Thanks for the advice though, I hope you continue to read.

Today has been a good Friday...

Time with Nash, time alone and time with friends. I couldn't ask for a better start to the weekend. Right now I am sitting with my friends and just finished up playing a game of ticket to ride where I came in 2nd place by only 2 points. It would have been nice to win, but its like they say 'first in the worst, second is the best'. Now i must make this a short post and spend sometime with my friends.

Goodnight.

Created for the outdoors...

Day 3

I am not to sure who to credit this post to... perhaps Hope for writing about it in our house community journal or maybe it should be Zach who taught her about this, but then again we learn all things from God, so maybe in the end I owe Him the credit. I've been thinking a lot today and wondering why am I so saddened about Hope and Zach leaving. Sure they are some of my closest friends and I love them dearly, but there must be something deeper then that. Then while driving home and leaving them a voice mail about the freezing rain hitting my windshield and the cold freezing wind chilling my insides the thought hit me so clearly. I was created to be outside. To feel the warmth of the sun and the warm breeze against my flesh. I am not meant for this COLD. Sure some people enjoy the winter, they find the fun in the snow, cold and frozen tundra around then, but I am not one of those I speak of. I have never been one of those. I am amazed of those people who truly Love the winter, who thrive in the winter. I can say that every time fall begins to fade, part of my soul goes with it. It is a struggle to survive with high spirits through the winter. I try, I really do every year try to complain a little less. This year Jake even commented about how I haven't complained as much, but maybe its because I feel like I am dyeing on the inside. It is a struggle to be myself. To enjoy the day when it fades so fast and the cold keeps your locked inside and feeling alone. Maybe I have been so saddened of their leaving not just because I will miss them dearly, but because my soul is longing to feel the warmth of Gods warm creation.

 

 

 

 

 

looking around...

Day 2

I almost didn't make it. Not that it would have been
very surprising if I had forgotten to blog. Jake thinks I wont make it all 30 days so lets see if I can prove him wrong. Its an interesting thing when you know at the end of the day you will be sharing your thoughts with whomever chooses to read them. All day I would find myself being more in-tune with the things around me, just incase it might be good to write about later. Nothing profound happened to me today. It was a pretty basic stay at home mom type of day. I did however enjoy a wonderful slice of french silk pie with my lunch, a special treat. One of my favorite times of the day is when Jake comes home. It always seems to be right after or right when Nash is eating and the excitement he gets when he sees his papa is simply beautiful. It is one of the greatest feelings to know that your child has such a love for his father. I love and enjoy the bond that they have together. I know that Jake says that Nash and I have this "special" thing because I am his mother, but I see that same thing between them. I am so blessed to have a loving family.

30 Days of...Me

I have decided to take a challenge and blog everyday for 30 days. I am going to try my hardest to be honest, vulnerable and maybe a little insightful. I am not to sure why I have decided to do this, but perhaps something inside of me is longing to be heard. I hope that this will happen, I hope that I will make it 30 days. Granted I am not perfect. I might miss a day and well in that case I am sorry. SO lets begin...

January 19th 2010

26 years ago I was born. My mom tells me it was the coldest day of the year, -26 degrees. I wonder why at that very minutes she didn't decide to get the heck out of town and move somewhere, lets see a little WARMER. Now with most of my family here and Jakes here, we feel slightly pulled to this area. Anyways. 26 years have gone by so fast. I do not feel much different from 25, not at all really. I enjoyed turning 25. Cheaper car insurance, well not really our guy said we all ready got a discount because we were married. LAME. Being 25 I felt more like an adult then I ever had, and now 26 isn't much different. I celebrated with my friends and played a wonderful/crazy game of bunko on Saturday. Congrats Jackie for winning. Today was much less exciting then I would have liked. Early this morning I woke up to say goodbye to our two closest friends. They are off to Hawaii for 7 weeks. I know its not that long, but I find myself at a loss and saddened that they are gone. Then my husband forgot to say happy birthday to me or anything even resembling those words almost all day. I still love him anyways! For some reason I have just been sad. Today has been a let down of a birthday. I did however get a wonderful dinner cooked by my mom and was able to spend sometime with my grandparents. OK Lizzie time to stop complaining and be grateful for all that God has blessed me with. The good and the bad.

I'll be seeing you...

In one full day two of my closest friends are heading off on a journey that will most likely changes there lives. I can't help but be a little jealous. Not only are they taking time off work, and a break from the busy daily life, but this all is taking place in the warmth of Hawaii. I am sure there will be challenges and growth beyond their wildest imagination, but it will be well worth it in the end.

I will miss my friends. I miss the conversations we have, the games we play and the support they offer. I am excited to see what God will do with them in the coming 7 weeks.

All this talk about taking time off and exploring something new has once again brought up that desire in my heart. Perhaps for me this is the time in my life where I need to practice patience. I know that our family is still finding where God wants us to be, but for now its here.

So they say it's a new year...

I can not believe how fast years come and go! Pretty soon I will find my self an old wrinkly lady wondering where the time has gone, but for now I am young a little wrinkled and excited for the new year. I would like to take a moment and reflect back on the year 2009. It is so easy to just just keep going with life and let memories fade into the distance, but there were so many good times had that I want to relish them for just a little longer. So here they are. A few of my fondest moments of 2009.

*the birth of Nash Dakota Edward Ladd (a little painful, but well worth it in the end)
*nights spent playing ping-pong, nertz and mafia in Pine Ridge with my family.
*working at Higher Ground and having deep and meaningful conversations with Belva and Leon.
*the weekend road trip our two great pals made to come visit us in Pine Ridge and see our lives out there.
*finding out we were having a baby boy!
*becoming a biological aunt to Nolan Robert Hawkinson.
*camping with the kinley's in the Ladd's back yard.
*the third annual cabin extravaganza!
*my family coming to visit from all over to see Nash.
*being introduced to the "name game", and playing it many times.
*road tripping with my husband and Nash to Denver, Birmingham and Pine Ridge.
*Nash's first Christmas.
*moving into a community house.

And the list could go on and on. 2009 was a good year. I am excited to see what 2010 has to offer and where and what God has planned for us. So far I can't complain. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and family that I love.