well i am here in the beauty of our Gods creation. Sitting on a porch, looking at the fall colors and wondering why God has decided to make the death of summer so beautiful? It is easy to say that all death is not as beautiful as the leaves outside your window, but perhaps the death of oneself to the renewal of ones soul is the most beautiful death.
I am in the process of dying.
Having time to sit and think and not be distracted but the normalcy of life has given me new distractions. My mind has been consumed with wandering...
This death that i am enduring, where will it take me? Who will i become?
Will i choose to take my last breath, or struggle for every last moment i have as who i am now?
i must surrender.
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