A graceful reminder...

I never cease to be amazed at the things I am reminded of when i take the time to listen.  It doesn't happen often, listening that is. I find it hard to sit still with nothing on to entertain my mind. But I am beginning to remember the beauty in stillness. Maybe the two feet of snow this morning reminded me that all creation can be stilled by beauty. That all of creation can be blanketed by the dazzling abundance of Grace. Its in these moments where little worries occupy my mind. Where I find my soul content. Where for a brief moment I know what Peace truly feels like.

I am thankful for these moments.

It is so easy for me to become a chameleon. I have the ability to adapt to my surroundings or those surrounding me. But for me it has mostly been a battle. This ability could be considered good and useful, but I have yet mastered it. For now I find my self conforming, forgetting what life is truly about. I seek success, financial wealth, recognition, pleasure, and abundance. I feel shame for not doing as the world does. But there is HOPE. In moments like this morning I am once again brought to my knees with Grace and Mercy. The following Passage from The Message reminds me of the Truth. The life that I am called to live and excited to strive for. Perhaps it will help us all remember what our souls are searching for...

1 Whoever is a slave must make the best of it, giving respect to his master so that outsiders don't blame God and our teaching for his behavior. 2 Slaves with Christian masters all the more so - their masters are really their beloved brothers! 3 If you have leaders there who teach otherwise, who refuse the solid words of our Master Jesus and this godly instruction, 4 tag them for what they are: ignorant windbags who infect the air with germs of envy, controversy, bad-mouthing, suspicious rumors. 5 Eventually there's an epidemic of backstabbing, and truth is but a distant memory. They think religion is a way to make a fast buck. 6 A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. 7 Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, 8 if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough. 9 But if it's only money these leaders are after, they'll self-destruct in no time. 10 Lust for money brings trouble and nothing but trouble. Going down that path, some lose their footing in the faith completely and live to regret it bitterly ever after. 11 But you, Timothy, man of God: Run for your life from all this. Pursue a righteous life - a life of wonder, faith, love, steadiness, courtesy. 12 Run hard and fast in the faith. Seize the eternal life, the life you were called to, the life you so fervently embraced in the presence of so many witnesses. 13 I'm charging you before the life-giving God and before Christ, who took his stand before Pontius Pilate and didn't give an inch: 14 Keep this command to the letter, and don't slack off. Our Master, Jesus Christ, is on his way. 15 He'll show up right on time, his arrival guaranteed by the Blessed and Undisputed Ruler, High King, High God. 16 He's the only one death can't touch, his light so bright no one can get close. He's never been seen by human eyes - human eyes can't take him in! Honor to him, and eternal rule! Oh, yes. 17 Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage - 18 to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. 19 If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life. 20And oh, my dear Timothy, guard the treasure you were given! Guard it with your life. Avoid the talk-show religion and the practiced confusion of the so-called experts. 21 People caught up in a lot of talk can miss the whole point of faith. Overwhelming grace keep you!

A holiday compilation...

It sure has been awhile from the last update. ( I believe I start many blogs with that saying)
Jake and I left for the second trip of the season, this time to Birmingham AL. The drive went wonderfully, we all stayed safe and enjoyed our tight fit in the truck. I was given a few great gifts on the drive, and would love to share them with you.

The first gift I received was the realization that I have become content with my surroundings. I live in a nice apartment, have electricity, running water, Free heat, and food on my table. Now I am not ashamed of those things, but I am saddened that I have forgotten to be thankful for those things. How easy it is to just want more , to believe that I have the right to more. To become more comfortable, and to gain more so my life will become easier. How easily I fall into the trap of consumerism.
While driving to Alabama I was slapped in the face with my disillusion of how our world is. Living in the comforts of Golden Valley, I slowly start to see the world as what I see around me. Boy am I wrong. There is so much poverty around. There is so much we can do. I felt awakened to the realities of life. It made me realize how much I focus on myself. What a battle it is to look out and not just see your own reflection staring back at you, but see humanity and the gifts we have to offer.
I feel like Christmas time has become such a blur in my eyes, it comes and goes and it seems that all that's worried about is what to give and what to get. It truly is a struggle for me, my love language is Gifts, so giving and receiving is a way of showing Love. Although I know there are ways to receive and give selfLESSly. This season I tried to find gifts that I could receive and give that would benefit others. My desire this holiday season is to reflect on the blessings I have and to not desire those things I do not need. May the Lord help me stay focused on His abundance of Love and Mercy.

The second gift I was given on the journey was when we stopped in Cairo Illinois. Jake had to deliver paint for the summer and as we drove through this town I was amazed. Most of it is run down and I mean run down. Buildings half there, streets abandoned, homes hanging on by just a thread, but I felt beauty that is unexplainable. God had delivered us through this town to receive a message, from a young women named Heather. She has been living there for the last 6 years doing full time missions work. Their main work is through intercession prayer. After hearing her story we had a chance to share ours and the words she gave us were beautiful.
 "God does not want you to be confused, He wants to bless you and shine upon you. He will lead you on whatever path you have chosen. He does not want you to feel guilt, only love."
Thank you Heather for sharing the Lords heart. We really needed to hear those words at that moment. May we let them sink in and become real in our hearts.

Here are a few unconventional gifts to give... (just click and it will take you there)
CLEAN water in Africa
Give a cow???
Sponsor a child
Missions in Mexico

An update in photos...

It has been awhile from my last post, so I figured why not post today. As I drove to pick Jake up from work yesterday on 36th Ave S, I was reminded of my love for Fall. I am sure there are more beautiful streets to drive down, but at that moment I was surrounded by beautifully colored trees of amber and orange, red and yellow glimmering brightly in the afternoon sun and I couldn't imagine anywhere more amazing. Then I realized that soon fall would come to an end and quickly prayed that God would give me something about Winter that I could love.

Anyways... I wanted to post a few photos to show what the Ladd family has been up to.

 Family photo after a day of fun!

 Jake and I went to see Wicked. It was amazing!!

 Nash riding his tractor at Grandma and Grandpa Ladds.

 I was able to watch Nolan for a day, they had some good times.

 We went for a burley ride to the park. I love the look Nash is giving here.

 Riding the Bee.

 Nash Loves naked rocking... Not sure who he learned that from??

 He also loves to see what small spaces he can fit into.

 We spent an evening at MOA with the Ladds.

 Nash with his cousins, Micah, Ashley, and Emily. Oh and Dora and Diego.

On the way home. You can really see his black eye here. Now that he walks, he also has pretty nashty falls.

Thank God

It has been a while from my last posting. Jake, Nash and I moved into our new apartment and are still getting settled in. Somewhere between moving in and today I have realized that I have become a not so desirable person. My attitude resembles that of a "debbie downer", I am easily angered and less then a patient wife and mother. So I have had to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror and find out what the heck is going on.

I have not devoted any of my time to growth, to challenges, and to gaining of wisdom. I am merely a girl holding on by a string, living just to get by. I know that through my lifetime I have had these moments, but for some reason this time it seems even more painful. I believe that I am better then this moment, that I have faith, hope and experiences that should have kept me from this. That even though things may seem tough I could have persevered, taken the high road, or at least stayed focused on God. Yet I fell apart, became a spirit filled with bitterness and frustration.
So...

Thank GOD, for never leaving me when I left him. Thank God, for showing up in my everyday even when I ignored His presence. Thank God for the memories of those who helped mold me into a better person. Thank God, for redoes.  Thank God, for giving me a husband who sees beyond my darkness. Thank God.

"Don't worry about a thing..."

Jake and I started the moving process today, and it was pretty exciting. Yet there was a part of me that felt unsure. I feel that this choice has brought me to a place where I must learn to trust in and on God. Jake and I have not lived alone together for 3 years. So this is a big deal for us, to have a chance to be a little family again. Although I am excited, there is a part of my that worries. I worry about the loss of community, the ability to afford living on our own, how we will connect being just us. Then I am reminded that I must always remember that God is in control. That He cares about what I feel and am going through. My thoughts must always be directed to Him first. Then when I begin to loose faith I hear God whispering this sweet melody...

Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright.


July 16th... a helpful reminder

where did the time go?

On July 7th 2010 Nash Ladd turned 1. I could hardly believe how fast the one year mark came rolling around. It truly is amazing to look back and see how far Nash has come. He reminds me daily that there is beauty in the world. Every moment he surprises me with a new skill or word I hadn't seen or heard before. I am filled with LOVE for my family. I am so thankful God has given me this opportunity to learn and be humbled by life. Thank you Lord for trusting me, may I always look for guidance and peace with Nash. 

Here are a few shots from July 9th, when Jake and I took Nash to the park to celebrate one year of life. 

On the search...

Well I am on the search... for a job that is, and after reading this Yahoo headline I might have a tough time.

Out-of-work job applicants told unemployed need not apply!

So I am a bit confused, should I add the last year of being a stay at home mom to my resume? Then I don't look like a lazy bum who just sits on the couch all day and looks for jobs. Oh boy irony setting in as I find myself sitting on the couch. Anyways, hopefully the job search yields something fruitful. If you have any leads feel free to pass them this way.

peace*

I need a reminder...

Today I need a reminder that I am not here for anything other then to serve a King.

A year and then some...

I can hardly believe that Jake, Nash and I have lived here for over a year. We have never lived anywhere for more then a year, for some reason we always find ourselves in a new adventure when the year mark comes rolling around and then we are off. This year was different, it was a new kind of adventure. We had a child and with that came a whole new world. I believe that we have been truly blessed to have Nash grow and be nurtured in a home filled with so many loving individuals. I wonder if this experience will be something he can recall at a later point in his life, or perhaps it will just be a memory his mom and papa talk about as the 'good old days'?
I am so amazed at all the things I have learned while living within this community. I am grateful for the person that this journey has helped me become. Hopefully I can continue to grow and develop into a character who is living a good story. So now that a year and then some has come and gone, and circumstances have begun to change, we must once again start our next adventure. Start the next part of our story.
To feel at peace with where God has us is so beautiful, that peace may last for a moment, or maybe even a year and who knows it could last a lifetime. For right now I feel that peace, but in my soul that is not the same as being content.
I know that I was created for more.  I can have a better story... now making that story happen is another thing entirely.

just and old photo i love....

a beautiful reminder...

So this post is a tad late, but it is something I am reminded of every spring and just wanted to share it with you. As many of you know I HATE the winter and when spring time rolls around I am more the excited to experience what is has to offer. One of the greatest things for me about spring is the Blossoms. I am constantly reminded of God the creator when I see the beauty spring up from the soil and from the trees. I am reminded that through death there is life. That I like the trees may go through a time of death, of hardship, retreat and turn brown, but once again the Lord my God will renew my spirit and I will be full of life and once again... blossom. 

It's a moms world...

I had a great mothers day yesterday. I was able to sleep in a bit, have a delicious breakfast made by my husband and son, and enjoyed an early afternoon bike ride. It was a restful day but like always a day still filled with movement. We were able to visit both sets of Jakes grandparents on our way to see Jeff and Carol (Jake's parents). It is always good to spend time visiting. We were blessed with great fellowship a wonderful meal and as always some good old family entertainment.
Mother's day turned out to be pretty darn good.

a touch of sports...

Well I came across a great website today as I was trying to type in my blogger account. Life the old and perhaps still published magazine came up and I loved it. I have always enjoyed the art of photography and here is a magazine along with National Geographic that showcases some great work. After about 20 minutes of looking at photos and reading the captions of the latest world news one caught my attention. One that normally wouldn't catch mine, but would for sure catch my husbands.

Now let me explain why my eyes were drawn to this photo. first of all Steve Nash is in the photo and come on not much of an explanation needed here. Secondly I have been hearing a lot about this decision in Arizona about illegal immigration. I must start my opinion by saying this, I am very uneducated about this situation and perhaps should say nothing at all, but there is something that drives me to feel something great and it must be shared. 

"Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless or the fatherless, the alien or the poor, in your hearts do not think evil of each other." Zechariah 7:10

This is not an easy thing to do and for my it is easy to feel that i have the right to something simply because I was born into it. Why is that? Why do I feel that I am great then someone? This applies to every moment of my day. I must become less so He may become more. God sees us ALL as equal, why do we not teat each other that way? 

Because we to need jobs, money, security? What are we afraid of? What am I afraid of?

^34-36"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

   I was hungry and you fed me,
   I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me a room,
   I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
   I was sick and you stopped to visit,
   I was in prison and you came to me.'
 ^37-40"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'
 ^41-43"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

   I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
   I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
   I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
   Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'
 ⁴⁴"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'
 ⁴⁵"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'


Then thirdly I can not help to think of my beautiful baby boy Nash when I see this photo. My heart is filled with love and excitement for him. I thank God for letting me have this time to raise him and watch him grow. I thank him for allowing me to be taught so many lessons through such a tiny human. Oh the Lord is good and may I forever remember that. 

It's Burleyutiful out....

Because this year I am a bona-fide mother I was given something I really wanted, not that I didn't want that used computer from Youthworks my husband got such a great deal on last year and it just so happened to be mothers day so how could he pass it up. This year my husband gave me and Nash a Burley. Now you may not know what this is and to be honest I really had never heard of one until about 6 months ago. A Burley is a bike trailer that children can ride in or if you have pets that are not petrified of anything and everything like Emery they to can be transported behind your bike in comfort and style and lets not forget durability.
So far Nash and I have been able to take two beautiful rides together and be in God's creation. I am truly hoping that this allows us to get out more and be active while leaving our car behind. Stay turned for photos of our and adventures with the Burley.

Peace*

Oh my soul...

Oh my soul is awakened by the sun.

I can not believe how beautiful it is outside. I love to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and breeze blow through my hair. Every spring I have a new appreciation for creation and for the beauty of our creator. I am excited for the summer and to spend as much time outside as I can, for I know once again winter will come and the thought of being outside will send chills down my spine. I will be grateful for the moments I have.

Nash is getting so big. He is 9 1/2 months old. He can crawl when he wants to, but I think he would much rather stand. It wont be to long before he is walking. I am a little scared about that. A mobile child is much different, no more turning my back for even a second. He has become a little bundle of personality. He loves when people look and him, and enjoys getting his photo taken. He still has Empathy just like his Papa and I can tell he is still pretty bashful around the ladies. No teeth yet and no words either. No rush, he will grow up in due time. Here are a few photos of the past few weeks:

T minus 3 days...

and counting.

I can hardly believe that I have almost been here for 2 weeks. Time sure does fly. This has been a great trip for me. i have been able to work at the coffee shop and spend time with the Matthews. Being here, if only for two weeks has once again ignited my heart for this place. I really do love it here, it may be hard and frustrating at times, but there is such love here. Nash and I have been welcomed with sincere hearts and cared for with compassion. My only wish is that Jake would have been able to join us on our journey. He has to work I understand, but my life is not the same without him near me. I love him.
Off subject sorry.

Anyways I sure am glad God brought me back here again, even if only for a short while.

It's a farming world...

The past few days have been a good break from the busyness of life. Here on the Rez everything tends to happen and a much slower pace, well everything other then the driving. There are some crazy drivers out here, but where are there not? Anyways. Nash and I have spent much of our time playing with Leon and Belva's 3 niece's and 1 nephew. Nash just loves them. They love him as well. I have been able to reconnect with some of my dear friends out here and spend some much needed time at Higher Ground (the coffee shop). It has been a little tough traveling with Nash, he has been taken out of his element and now his schedule is way out of whack. It has been leaving me one tired mom during the day. Thank God for helpful kids around here who love Nash. Today was a fun and refreshing day. It started with church at The Gospel Fellowship, which I always enjoy. It truly is a great church family. Then on to a visit to the cohen home (the local elderly housing). After leaving there I felt an urge to go horse back riding and happened to say this out loud. Belva mentioned she knew just the place, so we were off. We packed Nash, Kasey, and Kylah in the car and headed for "the Ranch". It was wonderful. To be in the open, to feel the soil beneath my boots and smell the fresh air was revitalizing. Thank you God for your creation.
Nash had an amazing first farm experience. Horses, cows, cats oh my. Here are a few photos of the trip so far. As great as it has been. We are excited to see Jake again. We miss him and feel incomplete with out him.

Peace.