your story...

Day 11


Let me start by saying this... I know, I know, I missed a day. I am sorry for that. I don't know where the day went. All of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was 11:59pm. Jake assured me that it would be OK, he said to tell everyone that I don't believe in blogging on the sabbath. I agreed and said 'great idea babe.' A few minutes later I realized it was saturday... so in honor of my Seventh Day Adventist Friends I decided to take the day off from blogging yesterday.
Let us resume.

Jake is reading the latest Donald Miller book, A million miles in a thousand years, and tonight while I was contemplating writing about plastic bags he interrupted me with a little insight. He read as follows...

"And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal: you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time."
...
...

"the main way we learn story is not through movies or books: its through each other. You become like the people you interact with. and if your friends are living boring stories you probably will to. We teach our children good or bad stories, what is worth living for and what is worth dying for, what is worth pursuing, and the dignity in which a character engages his own narrative."

I am blessed to have great people in my life. Friends who desire to live a life of passion, and family who understand how to love. I am living a story, my family is living a story. We will not settle. We will seek out our story.

Alone... well sort of...

Day 10


A moment to be proud... I made it to day 10!

10pm on a friday night and I am sitting in an empty house. OK not really empty. Nash is sleeping and Emery is snoring away next to me, but I am the only adult in the house. This does not happen very often with 6 grownups living under one roof. I don't mind being alone. Time to relax and do whatever I want for a little while, but I also love it when my roommates get home. I don't believe that I could ever live on my own. I was created to be with people, more then just being by myself. I enjoy great conversation and just feeling the presence of others around me. Perhaps thats one reason why I LOVE living in community.
I am blessed to have interesting people to talk to on a daily basis and gain insight from their wisdom.

well not alone anymore, Jake just came home from celebrating his dads birthday at the Wolves game. They were able to sit right behind the bench... I am sure jake LOVED that.

I am looking forward to this weekend to have time to relax with my family and spend more time focusing on my soul. I feel like my mind is a little all over the place tonight and i am sorry for the discombobulation of this blog.

peace...

deep with in...

Day 9

A few weeks back my roommate Dave was showing me this interesting thing on the this here internet, where you can put in a website and it will take common words that you use and make a collage. I decided to try it out for this blog. It is always interesting to see what you talk about.

Right now I am sitting in my living room, enjoying a wonderful cup of coffee and and smelling freshly burnt sage, which instantly brings me right back to the Rez. Today was a pretty ordinary day. Wake, eat, feed Nash, take a nap run some errands and come back home, but wait there's more. Today I did something  I have never done before. I made a Carol Ladd specialty 'sweet fish'. Thats right fried fish, all on my own, and surprisingly enough it turned out. No grease fires, no smoke alarms set off, just some good old fashion sweet fish in the end. So I guess my day wasn't as normal as I thought. Let me end with this...

I am a blessed individual. I have been created in the image of my savior. No one can take away His uniqueness placed deep within my soul. I will belong to my God, always.

A breath of humid air...

Day 8

Today I had a well needed brake from the cold, I mean the FREEZING cold. What happened to the 30 degree days anyways? Nash and I were able to join Lea and her friend Becky to the Como Zoo conservatory. It was beautiful. I have been there before, but mostly in the summer. Going in the winter is a whole new experience. I felt like it was the first time I had been there all over again. Walking through the doors and feeling my pores soke in the humidity and my hands begin to feel healed from all the moisture was simply breathtaking. Not to mention all the amazing plants. We were able to see banana trees, Pinapple plants/trees whatever they are, coffee plants, everything so green and lush. Oh I could just live there.
I was a soul rejuvenating afternoon.

 

A Devine thought...

Day 8


A while back Jake and I were given tickets by our friend Greta to the Get up Kids concert. It was a pretty great show. While we were there to see them one of the openers was Kevin Devine. I had never heard of him and neither had Jake. After hearing his set and really enjoying his music and lyrics we decided to invest in his CD. I am so grateful that we did. This id one album that I would highly recommend. The reason that I choose to write about this today is that for some reason music has the ability Christian or Non Christian to open my eyes to the truth and beauty of God. I know there are some that would disagree with me and say and believers we should listen to Christian music, but I would have to politely disagree with you. There have been times that I have been moved to my knees in adoration of my savior by music that would never be found in a "christian" book store. Does that make it any less beautiful to God? Doesn't he delight in all that His children do? Anyways... I would love to hear your thoughts.

Another bag of bones, Kevin Devine

It's a brushfire spreading, feeding as it moves

It's a disappeared glacier; it's the airborne flu

It's your disbelieving eyes logging concrete miles

It's your yawning conscience and your lawyer's smile

It's an occupied country foaming at the mouth

No smoking gun, no mushroom cloud

It's a military mother with a boy in hell

And it's a flag-draped casket down an oil well

It's an Argentine school-girl gagged and bound

It's a torture camp; it's a long way down

It's the constant bracing shock of now

And it's the whole damn world turned inside out, alright

It's a march to extinction with your god in step

It's his name in your mouth; it's his cross on your neck

It's a farm boy sprinting over desert dirt

And he's panting the 'Our Father' in staccato spurts

Now that's his automatic rifle and it tells no lies

It's his truth in your stomach, it's no alibi

But the trouble lies on the other side

With an equal truth prepping for his holy night

He sees the crescent and the star blink in the virgin sky

And hears the call of milk and honey from the afterlife

And as he eases to the checkpoint, he is calm and sure

It's collateral damage; it's the cost of war

It's another bag of bones for the Gods to sort

It's just another bag of bones for the Gods to sort

Well it's a species disappearing, all the birds fly south

In a January heat-wave, in a pulsing crowd

It's an African Militia, kids with sub-machines

It's a conflict diamond on your bride-to-be

It's the dispossessed lining up at every gate

It's the facts worth facing, faced way too late

It's the mission of modernity, go get what's yours

Till there's nothing leftover to go get no more

And it's not what we're owed, but it's what we've earned

And it's closer than we realize, and it's time now to burn

And oh it's time now to burn

And oh it's time now to burn

And oh it's time now to burn, to burn

and interesting stretch...

Day 7


Today was Monday and I tend to not be a fan of Mondays. Jake goes back to work, another week to be home (kind of) alone and just waiting for the next weekend to arrive. Today I was able to try something new.

For my birthday I was given by my roommates Dave and Lea a 30 day pass to the Movement Arts Center. So for the next 30 days I will be doing some interesting stretches in the Yoga class. Tonight was the first class, the first Yoga class I have ever been to. It was wonderful. I believe there were about 8 folks in the class and it looked to me like I was the youngest. I felt comfortable and ready to learn. Lea informed me that the class goes a little long because no one uses the room after, and she was right. The class started at 7:45 and ended around 9:15. Surprising to me, I made it through the whole class. I am sure I will be paying for it tomorrow. I loved the chance to be in a warm room, concentrate on breathing and just enjoy some relaxation. If you have never tried it, like my self at 4 hours ago I would highly recommend it.

a look at Sundays...

Day 6

Today I will not be writing about football...

I love Sundays. I am able to spend time with my husband, Nash and a good cup of coffee. Right now Jake and I have not been attending church. The transition from Pine Ridge to here, regarding church has been difficult. I really enjoyed Pine Ridge gospel fellowship. I felt at home there. The family was a nice small size with beautifully simple worship and a sermon you were not afraid to interupt with questions. Right now that is what I am looking for and would love to find. Yet I have been enjoying our sabatical from tradition worship services and spending time at home. God is good.

When the rain pours...

Day 5

With six minutes to spare I made it to day five. Pretty impressive if I say so myself. Today was like any other Saturday. I was woken up by a beautiful baby, then enjoyed a wonderful cup of french pressed coffee. Later in the day Jake and I joined Jeff and Carol for a fantastic dinner and great fellowship. Now is my time to sit and reflect on the day and how I saw God at work.

God is all around. Even in the cold, the snow and the freezing rain. There are many times that I seem to forget this, but thankfully God has not forgotten me. I feel frustrated and discontent much of the time and I am in the process of figuring out why my soul is in so much angst. This is not an easy self reflection to undergo, but even when the rain pours God is with me.

There is GRACE for that.

So they say I need structure...

 DAY 4

Well I have heard that some might like it if I were to write with a little more structure (Kevin Kinley) and its OK to feel that way, but it is 30 days of me and well I am not known to be very structured. Sure I could pick one subject to write about, but then again what if something comes up and it interests me more to write about that? So needless to say... structure is thrown out the window. I love you Kevin, but this is me. Thanks for the advice though, I hope you continue to read.

Today has been a good Friday...

Time with Nash, time alone and time with friends. I couldn't ask for a better start to the weekend. Right now I am sitting with my friends and just finished up playing a game of ticket to ride where I came in 2nd place by only 2 points. It would have been nice to win, but its like they say 'first in the worst, second is the best'. Now i must make this a short post and spend sometime with my friends.

Goodnight.

Created for the outdoors...

Day 3

I am not to sure who to credit this post to... perhaps Hope for writing about it in our house community journal or maybe it should be Zach who taught her about this, but then again we learn all things from God, so maybe in the end I owe Him the credit. I've been thinking a lot today and wondering why am I so saddened about Hope and Zach leaving. Sure they are some of my closest friends and I love them dearly, but there must be something deeper then that. Then while driving home and leaving them a voice mail about the freezing rain hitting my windshield and the cold freezing wind chilling my insides the thought hit me so clearly. I was created to be outside. To feel the warmth of the sun and the warm breeze against my flesh. I am not meant for this COLD. Sure some people enjoy the winter, they find the fun in the snow, cold and frozen tundra around then, but I am not one of those I speak of. I have never been one of those. I am amazed of those people who truly Love the winter, who thrive in the winter. I can say that every time fall begins to fade, part of my soul goes with it. It is a struggle to survive with high spirits through the winter. I try, I really do every year try to complain a little less. This year Jake even commented about how I haven't complained as much, but maybe its because I feel like I am dyeing on the inside. It is a struggle to be myself. To enjoy the day when it fades so fast and the cold keeps your locked inside and feeling alone. Maybe I have been so saddened of their leaving not just because I will miss them dearly, but because my soul is longing to feel the warmth of Gods warm creation.

 

 

 

 

 

looking around...

Day 2

I almost didn't make it. Not that it would have been
very surprising if I had forgotten to blog. Jake thinks I wont make it all 30 days so lets see if I can prove him wrong. Its an interesting thing when you know at the end of the day you will be sharing your thoughts with whomever chooses to read them. All day I would find myself being more in-tune with the things around me, just incase it might be good to write about later. Nothing profound happened to me today. It was a pretty basic stay at home mom type of day. I did however enjoy a wonderful slice of french silk pie with my lunch, a special treat. One of my favorite times of the day is when Jake comes home. It always seems to be right after or right when Nash is eating and the excitement he gets when he sees his papa is simply beautiful. It is one of the greatest feelings to know that your child has such a love for his father. I love and enjoy the bond that they have together. I know that Jake says that Nash and I have this "special" thing because I am his mother, but I see that same thing between them. I am so blessed to have a loving family.

30 Days of...Me

I have decided to take a challenge and blog everyday for 30 days. I am going to try my hardest to be honest, vulnerable and maybe a little insightful. I am not to sure why I have decided to do this, but perhaps something inside of me is longing to be heard. I hope that this will happen, I hope that I will make it 30 days. Granted I am not perfect. I might miss a day and well in that case I am sorry. SO lets begin...

January 19th 2010

26 years ago I was born. My mom tells me it was the coldest day of the year, -26 degrees. I wonder why at that very minutes she didn't decide to get the heck out of town and move somewhere, lets see a little WARMER. Now with most of my family here and Jakes here, we feel slightly pulled to this area. Anyways. 26 years have gone by so fast. I do not feel much different from 25, not at all really. I enjoyed turning 25. Cheaper car insurance, well not really our guy said we all ready got a discount because we were married. LAME. Being 25 I felt more like an adult then I ever had, and now 26 isn't much different. I celebrated with my friends and played a wonderful/crazy game of bunko on Saturday. Congrats Jackie for winning. Today was much less exciting then I would have liked. Early this morning I woke up to say goodbye to our two closest friends. They are off to Hawaii for 7 weeks. I know its not that long, but I find myself at a loss and saddened that they are gone. Then my husband forgot to say happy birthday to me or anything even resembling those words almost all day. I still love him anyways! For some reason I have just been sad. Today has been a let down of a birthday. I did however get a wonderful dinner cooked by my mom and was able to spend sometime with my grandparents. OK Lizzie time to stop complaining and be grateful for all that God has blessed me with. The good and the bad.

I'll be seeing you...

In one full day two of my closest friends are heading off on a journey that will most likely changes there lives. I can't help but be a little jealous. Not only are they taking time off work, and a break from the busy daily life, but this all is taking place in the warmth of Hawaii. I am sure there will be challenges and growth beyond their wildest imagination, but it will be well worth it in the end.

I will miss my friends. I miss the conversations we have, the games we play and the support they offer. I am excited to see what God will do with them in the coming 7 weeks.

All this talk about taking time off and exploring something new has once again brought up that desire in my heart. Perhaps for me this is the time in my life where I need to practice patience. I know that our family is still finding where God wants us to be, but for now its here.

So they say it's a new year...

I can not believe how fast years come and go! Pretty soon I will find my self an old wrinkly lady wondering where the time has gone, but for now I am young a little wrinkled and excited for the new year. I would like to take a moment and reflect back on the year 2009. It is so easy to just just keep going with life and let memories fade into the distance, but there were so many good times had that I want to relish them for just a little longer. So here they are. A few of my fondest moments of 2009.

*the birth of Nash Dakota Edward Ladd (a little painful, but well worth it in the end)
*nights spent playing ping-pong, nertz and mafia in Pine Ridge with my family.
*working at Higher Ground and having deep and meaningful conversations with Belva and Leon.
*the weekend road trip our two great pals made to come visit us in Pine Ridge and see our lives out there.
*finding out we were having a baby boy!
*becoming a biological aunt to Nolan Robert Hawkinson.
*camping with the kinley's in the Ladd's back yard.
*the third annual cabin extravaganza!
*my family coming to visit from all over to see Nash.
*being introduced to the "name game", and playing it many times.
*road tripping with my husband and Nash to Denver, Birmingham and Pine Ridge.
*Nash's first Christmas.
*moving into a community house.

And the list could go on and on. 2009 was a good year. I am excited to see what 2010 has to offer and where and what God has planned for us. So far I can't complain. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and family that I love.