I thought that this post should be a little bit more light hearted, but then again I feel a war going on inside of me, so I must write about those things. There will be a time for light heartedness and when that day comes I will be sure to let you know.
In this post I want to touch on a few things... First, my sister commented on my last post about becoming more simple. Here is a little deeper explanation to that. I want to start by saying I feel called to live my life this way, please feel in no way the things I am about to say are a judgment upon you or the way anyone else is living. This is simply how I feel and feel called to live. I am accountable for my life and my life alone.
Jake and I are EXTREMELY fortunate. We have everything we need to survive. We have each other, we have Nash, we have love, food and a great support system. Most of all we have a God who has and would do anything for US. What more could we ask for?
Well, apparently A LOT.
I catch myself saying 'I NEED ____ .' all the time. Then I try to make myself feel a little better by changing the words and saying 'I would really like___.' but does that make it any better? When, and if ever will I become content? Ok I am getting a little of track.
The reason we are choosing to sell our things is two fold.
1. We have realized these items have become tools to waste our time here on earth. Sure we can argue good reasons to keep all of them, but in the long run are they making us better, more loving, compassionate, selfless individuals?
2. To live simply to me, does not involve excess of 'things'. To have things we can live without and feel no spiritual pull to keep, then well why keep them? Why hoard, when the money we spend buying these items could be used for a much better purpose.
OK I hope that was a little better explanation...
Now to the second half of the post... stay with me will you?
This part piggybacks off a post a few days ago about 'My story'. I try really hard to fit into the life I have here. I try to feel a part of what's going on. I put on a mask of loving it here (well not so much right now in the middle of the winter). Here is a little analogy for you all.
Minnesota for me is like my favorite pair of old jeans. I bought them freshman year of college and wore them everywhere. Those jeans tattered at the bottom, holes in the knees have seen the best and worst that Minnesota can offer. They have sat on many different family coaches and friends living room floors. The jeans began to feel soft and smooth from the love they received. Holes started to appear in the back pockets from who knows what and belt loops ripped right off from being pulled up over the hip bones. Then came the day when they were unwearable, to the old clothes, to important to throw away bin they went. I moved on from them, to new jeans not the same but new ones. I traveled, met new friends and made a new story. Then as it would be, life brought be back and I had to dig through the old bin and put those old jeans back on, as all the old memories ran through my mind I became excited. I slipped one leg in at a time, grabbed the waistband, and slid them up, then it happened. I had to suck in. I had to hold my breath to zip them up and the button hardly pushed through the hole.
They were on.
Not the same, not even close. Uncomfortable, stiff, tight and hard to breath and move in.
I am forced to wear them. To live in them, walk in them.
I am still sucking in.
When will I be able to let it out and breath again?
2 comments:
So what is it that is making you suck in where you are? Maybe you just need to alter those jeans. You have a sewing machine, don't you? : )
well that is a wonderful way to look at it... its always harder to sew denim, but lets stay positive right?
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